Who I’d Haunt by Holly Bourne

Holly Bourne is on the blog today and she’s got an excellent idea:

If I could haunt anyone…I would throw a ghost house party instead

So I’m a ghost. Why would I waste precious ghouling hours haunting living people when there are so many brilliant dead people I can now hang out with?

I would find a haunted house and throw the best party the underworld has ever known.

All my favourite authors would be there. Hunter S Thompson would deffo be up for it. Roald Dahl could do a reading. Jane Austen and I could gossip about Mr Darcy in the bogs. And I’d corner Enid Blyton in the hallway and ask her why she called characters ‘Dick’ and ‘Fanny’ in the Magic Faraway Tree.

I would invite all the ludicrously-attractive dead people and it wouldn’t be weird to fancy them anymore because I’d be dead too. I’d try dragging James Dean into a pile of coats and chat up River Phoenix in the kitchen.

And, at my ghost house party, all my favourite dead characters from books would magically turn up too. Sirius Black and I could play a drinking game, Dumbledore could tell me wise stuff(must not mention ALL the dead Harry Potter characters, though I want to), Beth and I could watch Little Woman on Ghost Netflix and sob together.

Oh, yeah, and Finnick from The Hunger Games would have to be there – because YUM.

Thanks, Holly – Lucy from My So-Called Afterlife most definitely approves!

Holly’s latest book is Soulmates:

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Every so often, two people are born who are the perfect match for each other. Soulmates.

But what if meeting your soulmate is earth-shattering – literally?

After a chance meeting at a local band night, Poppy and Noah find themselves swept up in a whirlwind romance unlike anything they’ve ever experienced before. But with a secret international agency preparing to separate them and a trail of destruction rumbling in their wake, they are left with an impossible choice between the end of the world, or a life without love.

Find out more about Holly on her website or catch her on Twitter @holly_bourneYA

Who I’d Haunt by Luisa Plaja

I’m welcoming the wonderful Luisa Plaja onto the blog today and she’s deploying the multi-haunt:

I’m a greedy potential ghost, me. I don’t want to haunt just one person. I’d like to haunt book-lovers everywhere. These are my kind of people. I want to know which books they pick up when cost isn’t a factor, when they’re free to choose whichever books they fancy on any random day. For all eternity. Yes, I think it would be fun to haunt a public library.

Doing a quick search online tells me that I may not be alone in this desire. This site lists the 10 most haunted libraries in America, and the first of the libraries it features actually has a ghost cam trained on it, so you could even be haunted from the comfort of your own armchair many miles away, in between chapters of a good ghost story. This combines my love of books (and my nosiness) with my love of technology, so it’s a solid win for my ghostly-presence-to-be.

Closer to home, I’ve heard some spooky stories from the staff at my local library that have made my hair curl! Or maybe that was just the damp weather. But still…

This ghost says, “Boo!” with a silent ‘k’ on the end.

Ooh, haunted libraries…sounds right up my street! Thanks, Luisa!
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Luisa Plaja is the author of funny, romantic novels for teenagers. Her latest books are Diary of a Mall Girl, the story of a 15-year-old resident of a shopping centre, and Kiss Date Love Hate, where a girl finds she can change her life and loves through the settings of a computer game.
 Catch Luisa on Twitter @LuisaPlaja


Who I’d Haunt by Emma Haughton

Emma Haughton is joining in the haunting fun today and she done what we were all thinking:

Okay, so I’m going to take a bit of poetic licence with this. If I’m a ghost, I’m dead right? And if I’m dead, I’m going to assume I can go back and haunt anyone, anytime. Cos this is ghosts we’re talking about, and ghosts can do whatever they want. At least in my afterlife, they can.

So, I reckon I’d go back and haunt myself. You know, my younger self, before I died. I’d go back and bug the hell out of me – in a nice, not-too-scary way – until I opened my eyes and ears and listened to what my wiser, dead self had to say. And it would all be stuff like ‘It’ll all be okay’, ‘You’re doing fine’ and ‘This isn’t your fault’. I’d be the most comforting phantom in the whole of the afterlife. I’d be the spectral embodiment of encouraging.

But I’d also be the Ghost of Tough Love. And the main thing I’d do is appear at all those moments when I could have started to write, and didn’t, cos I was too scared. Honestly, ghosts don’t frighten me half as much as the fear of failing at the one thing I ever really wanted to do – only most of my life I haven’t been brave enough to admit I wanted to do it.

So I’d go back as a friendly – but stern – apparition and I’d say: ‘Get on with it. You can do it. Stop running away from writing. Have some faith. Knuckle down and do the work.’

Sort of an ethereal life coach. Tough, but firm.

Thanks, Emma! The Ghost of Tough Love sounds amazing!

Emma is the author of YA psychological thriller, Now You See Me

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Three years ago, Hannah’s best friend Danny Geller vanished without trace. Not knowing if he’s alive or dead, she struggles to move on with a life shrouded in secrets and suspicions… But as hope returns to haunt Danny’s family and their desperation is used against them, can Hannah bear to expose the painful truth? Or is it better to live in the dark?

“It’s not him. The body in the water. It’s not Danny.”

     I waited for the impact, for the news to sink in, to flood me with elation. But there was nothing. Only numbness.

     This was good news. So why did I feel so defeated?

     Then it hit me.

     A darker, deeper, buried part of me had been hoping all this was finally over.

Visit Emma’s website, connect with her on Facebook or join her for a chat on Twitter: @Emma_Haughton

Who I’d Haunt by Caroline Green

Oooh, Caroline Green is pulling on the white ghosty sheet today and she’s chosen someone fabulous:
If I could float about, unseen, for a day, I’d take my ghosty self back a few years to hang out with Russell T Davies when he was writing Doctor Who. I’ve been a fan ever since I was a child. I genuinely DID do the whole 1970s hiding-behind-a-cushion thing at the scary bits and my all-time favourite monsters (thanks for asking) were the Ice Warriors and the Cybermen.
 
It would be fascinating to watch how Russell T worked and came up with some of those brilliant ideas for the David Tennant shows. I devoured Davies’ book The Writer’s Tale, which included diary entries and emails from when he was lead writer on the series but I’d love to have been able to actually see how he coped with writer’s block or what his desk looked like when he was in the middle of plotting. I’d leave myself some time to head on over to watch Steven Moffat in action then, so I could compare how the two writers work. In fact, I’d make sure it was the day Moffat was writing the episode ‘Blink’, which remains one of my most favourite Doctor Who episodes ever, despite the fact that the Doctor himself hardly appears.
 
Thanks, Tamsyn, for encouraging this highly enjoyable fantasy!
No, thank you, Caroline – we’re all right behind you!
Caroline Green’s latest title is called Fragments; sequel to the critically-acclaimed Cracks.
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The story started with Cal. His everyday life cracked apart to reveal a reality he could barely believe.

Now join Kyla, the girl who saved Cal from being locked up in his own mind . . .

In a paranoid, near-future Britain, Kyla is alone, and hiding out from the ruthless Counterinsurgency and Anti-Terror Squads, known as CATS.

But instead of capturing her, the CATS cut her a deal. They want to brainwash Kyla, and use the talents that make her elusive – her athletic ability, cunning and quick-thinking – to turn her into a valuable asset of their own . . . hunting down the very people fighting for her freedom.

Will Kyla wake up to the real truth? Or will she be trapped forever in a terrifying world?

Her website is http://www.carolinegreen.net/ or catch her on Twitter @carolinesgreen

Who I’d Haunt by Ruth Saberton

I took a little blog break yesterday for the Bank Holiday but I’m back today with a cracking haunting post from Ruth Saberton:

This is a great question for me right now because the novel I’m working on, Dead Romantic, is all about the ghost of a pop star who haunts the heroine because she is the only person who can see him – a little awkward since she is a sceptical scientist who refuses to believe in anything supernatural…

Who would I haunt? I think this depends on the nature of the haunting. It could be great fun to haunt my mean ex- boyfriend. I could have a lovely time doing all the things that really annoyed him about me – like changing the radio station from Radio 4 to Radio 1, losing the car keys, not screwing the lids on jars properly and wandering off with the Sky Control.   And he wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it or moan at me. That would certainly be revenge from beyond the grave- especially seeing as he’d know exactly who it was doing all this!

Now, if I could have a ghost horse then I’d like to put in a request for my arab mare, Milly, to join me haunting the woods where we’ve loved to gallop. On a moonlit night we could weave in and out of the trees and jump logs and streams to our hearts’ content. And, being already dead, falling off at high speed when she put in a ghostly spook wouldn’t hurt at all!

I hope I’m not being too greedy here but if I’m allowed to choose a location to haunt as well, then I’d like to plump for Selfridges. Once the shop has closed for the night I could drift from department to department and have great fun with the Mulberry bags and Channel clothes. Being a ghost will of course mean that I am very thin and will fit in all the size zero designer outfits and because I glide I will have no trouble with the high heels! The perfumes won’t give me asthma and I can spray away to my heart’s content and experiment with all the new makeup without getting spots. There’s a book department, comfy beds to lie on and, my favourite thing of all, a stationary department where I can look at notebooks and paper and write ghostly messages. I may take a break from my spooky retail therapy, hop on a ghostly bus and make a trip to Westminster and see just what the politicians really get up to. I’ll have great fun making the ones I don’t like jump!

And one last request – please, please, please, can I also haunt Brad Pitt? I don’t have to explain why do I? A ghost has to have some fun!

My afterlife sounds like it’s going to be very busy…

Thanks, Ruth! And no, you don’t need to explain about Brad Pitt…

Ruth’s latest book is the fab  (and gorgeously covered) Escape For The Summer:

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Can Andi Evans find the strength to start again?

Betrayed and broken-hearted, Andi’s redundancy is one shock too many. Suddenly single and in debt, a summer working in the pretty Cornish town of Rock seems the perfect solution.Determined never to trust again, will a chance meeting with a stranger change her mind?

Andi’s sister, Angel, is determined to find a man who can keep her in style. Heading to Rock, summer playground of the rich and famous, seems an inspired idea until a misunderstanding threatens to end a romance that has started to mean more to her than she ever expected…

Actress Gemma is no stranger to diets and disappointments. As the future of her career hangs in the balance, Gemma hopes a summer in Cornwall solves her problems. With a reality TV show being filmed in the seaside town surely she can avoid the pasty shops and win herself a role.

Arriving in idyllic Cornwall, all three girls are hoping for a holiday to remember. But will this be for the right reasons? Or, as emotions run higher than the tide, will the summer escape turn their lives upside down?

Ruth’s website is http://www.ruthsaberton.co.uk or you can catch her on Twitter @RuthSaberton

Who I’d Haunt by Kerry Drewery

It’s Kerry Drewery up on the blog today and she’s got a certain gentleman of Whitechapel in her sights:

I’ve always been fascinated by unsolved crimes, mysteries or supposed conspiracy theories that now will never be solved, such as the death of Marilyn Monroe, who really killed John F Kennedy if it wasn’t Lee Harvey Oswald, or what actually happened to Edgar Allen Poe in those days he was missing and what exactly caused his death, so I think if I was able to haunt anyone in any time period, it would have to be something like this, where I could discover the truth.

But I think, instead of haunting a person, I would haunt a place – the streets of Whitechapel in 1888 – and I would find out the identity of Jack the Ripper.

Before I travelled back in time I would study the dates the women were killed, the times, the locations, and once there, I would walk the streets, watch the ladies, follow the carriages and the men as they came and went, and when I’d seen the face of the killer, I would be a step behind him everywhere he went, whispering in his ear, slamming doors, opening windows, haunting him now and making his life miserable until either he thought himself quite mad, or began to feel some guilt for his actions.  

I don’t think, on coming back to present time, I would be able to tell anyone who I had seen and solve the crime that’s been the subject of so many books, films and debates, as I wouldn’t have any evidence, but I would know, and hopefully my actions as ‘ghost’ would’ve done something to make him repent.

Thanks, Kerry. I’m fascinated by those mysteries too, although I’m too chicken to face Jack the Ripper myself!

Kerry’s latest book is  A Dream of Lights and it sounds incredible:

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Yoora is a teenage girl living in North Korea, dreaming of the lights of foreign cities while eking out a miserable existence in a rural northern village. But then she makes a mistake: she falls in love. With someone far removed from her social class. Someone dangerous to know. When tongues start to wag, her father is executed and she is taken to a prison camp in the mountains. There, escape seems even further from her grasp. But Yoora is about to learn an important lesson: love can surprise you, and it can come in many forms…

Catch up with Kerry here:

http://kerrydrewery.tumblr.com/

https://www.facebook.com/KerryDrewery

https://twitter.com/KerryDrewery

Who I’d Haunt by Matt Dunn

I’m welcoming the brilliant Matt Dunn today. He’s dithering over his victim a bit…

Most authors already know how to haunt – bookshops, that is, waiting to see if they can spot anyone buying their books. But when it comes to haunting a person, given an infinite choice – well, that’s a tough one.
Of course, my first answer would be Halle Berry, for reasons you can probably guess. But thinking about it, if I was given actual haunting ability, I fear – no pun intended – I’d have to use my powers for good, trying to scare Assad into having a heart attack, for example. Or frightening Nigel Farage (though up close, I fear he’d possibly frighten me more) into giving up politics. UKIP? He certainly wouldn’t with me disturbing his sleep every night.
Having said that, I might just be having too much fun in the afterlife to come back and haunt anyone. After all, think who’s there – the parties you could go to, the people you could talk to, the things you could ask them. And there’d be all life’s great mysteries you could finally find out the answer to – who killed JFK, what happened to Shergar, where is Lord Lucan – and why is TOWIE so popular.
So actually, forget the haunting. I’d be having way too much fun to… No, it would be Halle Berry. And that – literally – is my final answer.
Thanks, Matt. If I was Halle Berry, I’d be looking carefully over my shoulder…
Matt’s latest book is A Day at the Office:
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For most people, Valentine’s Day means flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for five of Seek Software’s employees, it’s shaping up to be as much fun as a trip to the dentist.

Long-term singleton Sophie has a crush on colleague Nathan but worries he doesn’t even know her name. And is there really any point in her sending a card to the man who organises the annual office Anti-Valentine’s party?

Overweight, insecure, and still living with his mum, Calum’s desperate for a girlfriend. He’s recently met the woman of his dreams online but his exaggerated profile might mean tonight’s first date could also be their last.

Mark’s been besotted with Julie since she kissed him at the office Christmas party. While she doesn’t seem to remember a thing, today might be his best chance to remind her. If only he could work out how.

A Day at the Office is a wise, wonderfully moving, and laugh-out-loud novel about life, love, and relationships by bestselling novelist Matt Dunn.

Matt’s website is: http://www.mattdunn.co.uk or you catch him on Twitter @mattdunnwrites

Who I’d Haunt by Liz Fenwick

The lovely Liz Fenwick is up today with a short and sweet haunting:

I generally use actors to help with the physical descriptions of my heroes. It’s very hard work googling images and videos clips just to make sure I’ve noted the tilt of the head, the grin and, well, the physique.
In A Cornish Stranger it was Benedict Cumberbatch who I used as a model for my hero. I would love to haunt him for a day to see if he’s as wonderful as Fin turned out to be…and simply because he’s just gorgeous!
Totally in agreement, Liz – can we haunt Benedict together?
Liz’s new book is A Cornish Stranger:
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There’s an old Cornish saying: ‘Save a stranger from the sea, he’ll turn your enemy…’When her reclusive grandmother becomes too frail to live alone, Gabriella Blythe moves into the remote waterside cabin on Frenchman’s Creek which has been her grandmother’s home for decades. Once a celebrated artist, Jaunty’s days are coming to a close but she is still haunted by events in her past, particularly the sinking of Lancasteria during the war.

Everything is fine until a handsome stranger arrives in a storm, seeking help. Fin has been left a family legacy: a delicate watercolour of a cabin above the creek which leads him to this beautiful stretch of Cornish water. As Fin begins to pick at the clues of the painting, he is drawn into the lives of Gabe and Jaunty, unraveling a remarkable story of identity and betrayal…

Find our more about Liz on her website or catch her on Twitter @liz_fenwick.

Who I’d Haunt by Sharon Gosling

It’s Sharon Gosling’s turn to choose someone to haunt today and she’s gone for someone breathtaking:

If I could haunt anyone – and it would have to be in a nice way, not a scary way – it would be a woman called Isabella Bird. She’s been dead for a long time herself – she was born in Yorkshire in 1834, and died in 1904. In between she had an extraordinary life. It was full of exploration and travel, all of which she did completely on her own – something that was virtually unheard of for a woman in that time period. She went to Hawaii, to Japan, to Tibet, to Korea, to Kurdistan. When she died, in her early 70s, she was planning another solo trip, this time to India.

She funded her travel in part by writing letters home to her sister, which were then serialized in newspapers. One of her most famous expeditions was to America. On this particular trip she rode for 800 miles, mostly alone, through the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. She found her way into Estes Park, which today has roads running through it and even a town, but back then was completely isolated Only populated by hardened hunters, there were no roads or even clear tracks, yet she found her way over the high mountain passes and into the remote, lush natural ‘park’ beyond. She was so hardy that she survived a winter there – and that was no easy task. Even most of the hunters left for warmer climates over the worst months, but not Isabella.

While there, she fell in love. Well, from her letters it seems as if she might have done, anyway – she was a God-fearing, tee-total, bible-loving woman, and he was a one-eyed, murderous scoundrel nicknamed ‘Mountain Jim’. She wasn’t much more than five feet tall, and he was both huge and hugely strong. Reading between the lines of her carefully edited letters, it’s possible to see that he was as enamored of her as she seemed to be of him, and tried to convince her to marry him. But it seems that his bad past held her back, and eventually she decided that she would have to leave Estes Park and Mountain Jim before something untoward could happen.

She started her ride out in the middle of a blizzard, and the only path still clear led right past Mountain Jim’s cabin. Mountain Jim, a man with many enemies, saw this person on horseback coming through the snow and thought he was under surprise attack. He tried to shoot the rider (he missed, thank goodness), and only realised when she fell that it was his beloved Isabella. He picked her up and took her to his cabin, but she wouldn’t stay. She mounted the horse again and left him behind forever.

A few months later, Mountain Jim was shot dead by an aggrieved fellow hunter. When Isabella heard, she finally agreed to marry another man who had been trying to persuade her for years – with the proviso that she would still be allowed to travel wherever and whenever she liked, alone.

Isabella’s life was truly extraordinary, and how I would have loved to be able to follow her around as she lived it – and to find out whether Mountain Jim ever managed to coax a kiss from her. I’d like to think he did, don’t you?

Wow, what an inspirational lady! Thanks, Sharon!

Sharon’s latest book is The Ruby Airship (I’ve read the first book in the series, The Diamond Thief and it is brilliant)

The Ruby Airship

In this action-packed sequel to The Diamond Thief, trapeze-artist Remy has left the circus and her life as a jewel thief behind, but doubts that the young detective Thaddeus Rec will ever truly trust her. Torn between her new life and her old, her mind is made up when Yannick, a fellow circus-performer from Remy’s past, arrives in London. Remy decides it’s time to go with Yannick to France, and rejoin her best friend Claudette and the circus. But Thaddeus is sure that Yannick is up to no good. He’s determined to track them down and win Remy back, even if he has to embark on a perilous journey by airship to do so.

Find out more about Sharon on her blog or catch her on Twitter @sharongosling

Who I’d Haunt by Bea Davenport

Welcome to Bea Davenport, author of creepy Victorian story The Serpent House, who is out for revenge with her haunting:

Here’s who I would haunt, if I could: the writer of a pop song that scared the wits out of me when I was an impressionable child.

I was a very anxious little girl and easily spooked. So when I heard a song on the radio all about an old man dying, it really got to me. The song’s official title is Theme from a Teenage Opera, but everyone knew it as Grocer Jack, which was the line from the chorus. (Only people of a certain age will remember it)! The song was all about a put-upon old grocer who was thoroughly taken for granted. But one night he couldn’t get his breath and he died.

The horrid people in the town sent their children round to bang on his door and complain that he hadn’t delivered their breakfast. But when they realised he was dead, they were all very sorry and sent flowers to his funeral. Morbid, eh?

What on earth was the songwriter thinking? Night after night, I lay awake, convinced that (a) the ghost of Grocer Jack was coming to get me and (b) people close to me could die at any minute. It didn’t help that this wretched track was in the UK charts for fifteen weeks, so it was hard to escape. My big brother even bought the single!

So if I was a ghost, I’d float into the bedroom of that composer and sing scary songs about death into his ear, keeping him awake. I’d only do it for a few weeks  – fifteen, say. Revenge would be very sweet indeed.

Thanks, Bea! Come to think of it, I’d quite like to haunt Barry Manilow for that earworm to end all earworms, Copa Cobana.

Bea’s latest book is the spooky-sounding The Serpent House, out on 5th June:

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As I got into the Hall grounds, the sick, dizzy feeling came over me again, as if I was
about to fall over. Was that a whispering in my ears? Was someone saying my name?

Twelve-year-old Annie is invited to Hexer Hall to work as a servant for the mysterious Lady Hexer. Carvings of snakes are everywhere and when Annie touches one, she travels back in time to when the Hall was a leper hospital, run by a sinister doctor with a collection of terrifying serpents. Annie never wants to return, but Lady Hexer demands she finds a way to steal the doctor’s book of magical cures. She promises it will rid the world of disease, including tuberculosis, which killed Annie’s mother.

Summoning all her courage, Annie travels back in time again…

Find out more Bea on her website