I’m welcoming the brilliant Matt Dunn today. He’s dithering over his victim a bit…
Most authors already know how to haunt – bookshops, that is, waiting to see if they can spot anyone buying their books. But when it comes to haunting a person, given an infinite choice – well, that’s a tough one.
Of course, my first answer would be Halle Berry, for reasons you can probably guess. But thinking about it, if I was given actual haunting ability, I fear – no pun intended – I’d have to use my powers for good, trying to scare Assad into having a heart attack, for example. Or frightening Nigel Farage (though up close, I fear he’d possibly frighten me more) into giving up politics. UKIP? He certainly wouldn’t with me disturbing his sleep every night.
Having said that, I might just be having too much fun in the afterlife to come back and haunt anyone. After all, think who’s there – the parties you could go to, the people you could talk to, the things you could ask them. And there’d be all life’s great mysteries you could finally find out the answer to – who killed JFK, what happened to Shergar, where is Lord Lucan – and why is TOWIE so popular.
So actually, forget the haunting. I’d be having way too much fun to… No, it would be Halle Berry. And that – literally – is my final answer.
Thanks, Matt. If I was Halle Berry, I’d be looking carefully over my shoulder…
Matt’s latest book is A Day at the Office:
For most people, Valentine’s Day means flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for five of Seek Software’s employees, it’s shaping up to be as much fun as a trip to the dentist.
Long-term singleton Sophie has a crush on colleague Nathan but worries he doesn’t even know her name. And is there really any point in her sending a card to the man who organises the annual office Anti-Valentine’s party?
Overweight, insecure, and still living with his mum, Calum’s desperate for a girlfriend. He’s recently met the woman of his dreams online but his exaggerated profile might mean tonight’s first date could also be their last.
Mark’s been besotted with Julie since she kissed him at the office Christmas party. While she doesn’t seem to remember a thing, today might be his best chance to remind her. If only he could work out how.
A Day at the Office is a wise, wonderfully moving, and laugh-out-loud novel about life, love, and relationships by bestselling novelist Matt Dunn.